If you read my prior post regarding frequently asked questions I do post a little bit about some fun things I have seen at weddings as well as some of my favorite memories. During the year while I am shooting weddings I always have those little things in the back of my mind I wish I could just post to the world and to brides. I guess its things only certain vendors would notice but when you edit a lot of photos in the year the things you want to mention stand out in the back of your mind. I post this becuase as I have talked to some of my brides for 2014 a lot of them have very much valued the insight I have on some really random issues and I have gotten a lot of “I would have never thought of that” responses. Some of this may seem really random to you, but to me they really stand out.
1. The Importance of a Nice “Get Ready” Room
Ah the beautiful moment when the mother of the bride is lacing up her daughters beautiful wedding dress on such a memorable day standing in front of the window enjoying the moment…… while Karen, the bridesmaid has her Spanx laying on the preschool desk in the church basement in the background and Kelly is putting on deodrant while wearing sweat pants under her bridesmaid dress. To me, location and background matters. I highly encourage brides to get ready LAST after all of the bridesmaids and mothers are dressed and the dressing room is free of undergarments, body tape, and shoe boxes. The preparations for weddings can leave a bridal room looking chaotic but it is nice to have a beautiful place for the bride to get ready and it really adds to the pictures. However, if you can’t get ready in a beautiful room there are things you can do to avoid the clutter. One good idea I saw this year was having the bride get ready in a different corner of the room and also providing bridesmaids with tubs or bags to store all of their things in while they are getting ready and store their belongings after they are dressed.
2. Right side, Strong Side
In about 99 percent of all weddings I have seen, the bride is ALWAYS facing the crowd on her right side during the ceremony. This is a good side for bracelets, rings, and other enhancements. This is the side your guests and the camera will see. One of the things I really notice during a wedding is when hair is parted to the right and drawn over the eyes. As your hairstyle will loosen throughout the day, so will your bangs as they start to cover your eyes and face. Then you are spending half the day moving it out of your eyes. This disables the guests and the camera from seeing your eyes during the ceremony. If you are concerned about your hair being in your eyes the day of the wedding or covering your face during the ceremony discuss these concerns with your hair stylist who can pin it back just a bit tighter to accomodate for the inevitbable loosening.
3. Do the Hokey Pokey, In Your Dress
Think about all the things you will be doing on your wedding day: standing, walking, sitting, kneeling, hugging, dancing, and celebrating. That’s a lot of movement for one very heavy dress. I cannot stress enough the importance of a good wedding day fit. Proper lacing and a proper fit can make or break how you look on your big day. Any good alterations vendors will tell you that even though you love the dress standing in it at the store you will be able to see in pictures if the dress was not properly fitted. As the day progresses the dress can shift and if there is no proper fit to begin with it can leave you with an unflattering top when sitting or gaping in the front of the dress. When you are getting your fitting ensure that you can breathe and move around as you will be doing on your wedding day. If a wedding dress is too tight, your body has to go SOMEWHERE and it usually goes up 🙂 You don’t want to spend the entire day pulling your dress up and you don’t want to regret how you look sitting down at the reception.
4. A Sacrifice to the Wedding Gods
Burn your Pinterest page. Please. Do it for all of us. Pinterest defy’s all logic, weather, budgets, and church rules and restrictions for 90 percent of all weddings. I heard a quote once that says it perfectly “Pinterest is a collection of ideas that have already been done.” Its also a collection of staged weddings for magazines and paid professional models. It never rains or sleets on a Pinterest wedding. While we love the details as a wedding photographer I honestly think its gotten out of hand. 50 years from now when you get out your wedding photos will you really care about the chalkboard sign you had at the reception or will you care more about that amazing picture you had of hugging your grandmother candidly at the reception while having no idea the photographer was shooting at the time. I want to be more concerned with capturing emotion than I am a sitting object. Never fear however, we WILL photograph your details we just don’t think they are as important as the people in them. Make your wedding your own, not someone elses.
http://www.thefrisky.com/2013-09-10/wedding-photographers-are-so-over-pinterest/
http://www.jasminestarblog.com/index.cfm?postID=1702&
5. Night Vision Dance Gear
As much as I love ambiance there is nothing more frustrating for your guests than total darkness. I have shot two weddings this year almost entirely in the dark (by choice) and while candelight is awesome I honestly saw wedding guests having a really hard time getting around. You don’t want Grandma to need a hip replacement because she fell navigating to the bathroom during the ceremony or reception. It also negatively impacts your wedding photos, as we discuss with all of our brides during contract signing. It makes it very difficult on your media professionals and guests when you get married in extremely dark situations where strict rules allow no ambient light, video lighting, or flash. Think about it from this perspective: you spent all this money on your dress, hair, and makeup don’t you want your guests (and groom) to be able to SEE that during the ceremony? During the reception you can also leave some side lights or uplighting going so that your guests can navigate around the room. DJ lighting can also help make a total dark reception a little easier for the guests who are not participating in the Cha Cha Slide.
6. You Want a Picture of What?!
We respect the venue, period. We still have to work in this community long after your wedding so we like to keep good relationships with the officiants and reception vendors. Can we please save the hard liqour drinking pictures and the inappropriate poses for OUTSIDE of the church. Please!? Also, when pinning (if you must) think “is that photo really US or am I trying to be something I’m not?” “Is this something I will like in 5 years… ” We all know trends. How many of you are embarrased by old trends you participated in that you thought were so cool? Think 80’s hair and cut offs. Nothing is more permanant than your wedding photos, just saying 🙂
7. It Goes On Your Left
The garter, that is. It goes on the left leg. Suggestion though: If you are getting married in the summer and you sweat like me, consider keeping the garter handy at the reception and just put it on right before the garter toss. You could do whoever catches it a favor.
8. It ALSO goes on your left
Flowers that is. Have a trusty person for flower pinning for your groomsmen or ask your florist to provide that service. There is an art to good flower pinning.
9. It’s Not Christmas But it’s Still Pretty
A backdrop at your reception can go a long way, it really can. It can be the backdrop for your speeches and your first dance. It could be that or the brown reception hall wall. I’m a big fan or twinkly light backdrops I think it really adds something to the lighting during your first dance and provides a great backdrop for your reception events.
10. That Wedding Had WHAT?!
Best thing about being a wedding photographer is as we roam through the reception we hear people talk. You know what guests love/most complain about? Well from what we hear, they love something DIFFERENT. The weddings that stand out in my mind include weddings that had non-traditional deserts, interactive DJ’s, activities, and unique food. I do hear guests complain alot about “lag time” between dinner and events or when dinner runs late.
11. Research and Kill the Laser Lights
The Off Beat Bride had a FANTASTIC article on “How Not To Hate Your Wedding Photos” It is worth a read. http://offbeatbride.com/2013/11/bad-wedding-photos.
One of the things they mention is the DJ laser lights which provide laser spots on your face during your first dances and reception events. If you want examples of how terrible these look, email me I would be happy to provide you examples.
And on that, hire a GOOD DJ. Hire a sober, respectable one that has references. Meet him/her in person. You can refer to my previous “Wedding Vendor Post” about that. One of the things I instantly remember about my wedding is that our terrible DJ all but ruined our reception. Don’t let that happen to you.
12. Unplugged Wedding
Google it. If you like it, I’m a big fan.
13. You’ll Need Food and Potty
Build a relastic schedule that accomodates your events, guests, and includes transportation time. If you want photos of every extended family member that you have, gathering those individuals will take time. If you want to drive around in your limo for an hour, that will also take time. Ask your photographer or wedding planner for scheduling assistance. We are MORE than happy to provide a good sample schedule.
14. In My Mind…..
I’m 5’9, 125 lbs with long perfect wavy hair in a slender cut dress with Jimmy Choo heels. In my real wedding pictures I was 5’10 (same height as my groom) 155 lbs and my dress was an A-Line (because no one was pulling off a slender cut), my hair doesn’t hold a curl so it had to be pinned up tight (think: prom) and I got married in flats. I got married in flats because I didn’t want to be taller than my groom (who is also 5’10) and there was no way I was spending $800.00 on shoes. If I were being unrelastic I would have asked my photographer to “Photoshop” my husband to be taller, me to be thinner, and for my shoes to be cooler. He wasn’t going to do that and neither will I. My wedding was MINE and I looked exactly how I was supposed to. Stay grounded during your wedding, you want to look like you, not a fake version of you. You being yourself will create far more beautiful photos than you could copy off Pinterest.
15. I “growl” DO
Eat on your big day. It is very important not to let your stomach say your vows before you because all you managed the morning of your wedding was a Starbucks coffee.
16. Post-Wedding Depression
Don’t let it get to you. After the big day is said and done start focusing on your new life together and not dwelling on the fact that your wedding is over. Have realistic expectations of what your wedding day photos will look like. I’ll give you a hint, if you got married at the local church in a small town there probably won’t be a big city backdrop in your images when you get them back. If you do get something like that back, it probably isn’t the right wedding. There is an article about this that is REALLY great and worth a read : http://www.glamour.com/weddings/blogs/save-the-date/2011/07/when-your-wedding-pictures-com.html
Don’t let those wedding picture blues get to you. You were beautiful, in love, and hopefully happy on your wedding day. That will show in your wedding photos. Relax and enjoy married life.
We hope that this information has been helpful. I aim to asisst Brides with planning a stress free wedding and some of the above situations have caused meltdowns and unrealistic expectations of how weddings are supposed to be. Please don’t ever hesitate to contact us if you ever have questions or concerns (about photography or anything else). We are here to help!
Thanks,
Kate
