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I think for brides today whether or not to do a first look with their groom on their wedding day is a subject of huge debate. We want to give you the pros and cons that we have experienced in the past few years shooting weddings (and even our own):
Traditional: When I got married, I was adamant that Doug wouldn’t see me until I walked down the aisle. This opinion was probably the result of tradition more than anything but also at the time the “first look” idea wasn’t overly popular. I really liked the idea of that “wow” factor and I felt like I had spent so much time, money, and effort on myself for that day I wanted to have that one moment. So naturally, I get brides who want that traditional experience. There is a downside to this however, which was something I didn’t consider until far after my wedding day. I realized, looking back, I had spent almost the entire wedding day without my husband. On my own wedding day we started hair and makeup around 7:00AM and started pictures (individually of course) around Noon. I ate lunch with my bridesmaids and didn’t actually get to see my husband until our wedding at 2:00PM and aside from our vows we didn’t have a real conversation until close to 3:10PM when the ceremony was over. One of the most important days of our lives and we spent the majority of it apart. The other downside to this was scheduled time. Now, believe it or not I wasn’t picture obsessed and really my entire goal of the day was to get married so thankfully we didn’t have a tight schedule because my list of desired pictures was minimal and simple (mostly formals). We did roughly 10-15 minutes of outdoor photos and we were actually early to our wedding reception (which almost never happens for weddings we photograph these days). Had we had the photography demands of what today’s bride has thanks to Pinterest and social media we probably would have run out of time because there are a large number of typical formals and bridal party shots that couldn’t have been done until after the wedding. Another downside to this grand entrance is the fact that it can be distracting. We had over 200 people at our wedding ceremony and walking down the aisle I really couldn’t see Doug until I made it half way down but what I do remember is 200 people staring at me during that moment. I felt personally this was a little awkward. I was sharing my “moment” with 200 other people (people I like, don’t get me wrong). This may or may not be the way you want your first look to go, let me give you the flip side.
First Look: No, it’s not traditional but it’s becoming very popular for couples these days. What is great about it is it is a HUGE time saver (from a photography standpoint) and in my opinion, you really get TWO first experiences. Let me elaborate: the first look between you and your future husband should be something magical and special and it can be all those things AND be private as well. We have had several couples even opt to not have it photographed because they want it to be a very private moment (and we’re ok with that). We have also had couples want it documented and we do our best to hide and be silent during the experience. The best part about it is you get to BE with your spouse for almost the ENTIRE day. It gives you the opportunity to hang out, relax, and calm the nerves before the wedding because now a huge nerve wracking experience is over. We have even had bride and grooms get ready together (not dressing of course) but the groom hanging around during hair and makeup and we think this is also super cool. The first-first look is an opportunity for emotion and can create some beautiful memories. Then, when you walk down the aisle you get that second first look experience. Yes, it’s true he’s already seen you but when you combine the guests, the music, the anticipation it is literally like he is seeing you again in all your bridal amazingness. You really can get two first looks doing it this way if you really think about it. A first look can take all the pressure off and then you don’t spend your entire morning avoiding each other. I mentioned before but I’ll say it again, first looks are a HUGE time and schedule saver when it comes to events. About 95 percent of weddings run late and when a huge bulk of the photography has to be done AFTER the ceremony (if the bride and groom chose not to see each other before) this can create a traffic jam of events and potentially produce a late arrival to the reception. After a wedding ceremony, it is often difficult to track down family members needed for formal pictures as they are visiting and catching up with guests and commonly the bridal party goes MIA following a ceremony. This can create havoc when trying to get in a lot of formals with the bride and groom together following a wedding ceremony. I have found in my own experience that first looks provide far more time opportunity for individual and creative portraits and also that formal portraits with family members tends to go faster (as they are all present and not difficult to track down as they are typically following a ceremony). We also love first looks because it seems like it makes life so much easier on the COUPLE where they can be relaxed and really enjoy spending time with each other before the actual ceremony.
Whatever you decide, it’s ultimately your decision and your wedding day! We love giving pro/con lists like this for different wedding dilemmas because we think we have a great perspective and good examples from the many weddings we have shot. We won’t lie, we are big fans of the first look but we also respect those who want to keep with tradition. Stay tuned for our blog for more wedding resources such as these in the near future. Enjoy some of the first look images we have attached here!
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